I’m sure it’s no news to you that I think pretty off-the-wall things and will jump around from topic to topic with no seemingly appropriate segue.

Ooh, look! A squirrel!

And today’s no exception. I’ve had a bunch of weird thoughts a-tumblin’ around in my head lately, so I decided to get them onto paper (computer) and out of me noggin.

Lucky you! So now it’s an official trilogy, separated by many, many, many months. (For reference, check out the first and second posts.) (If you dare! Maniacal laugh…maniacal laugh.)

Ooh, look! A bird!

1. I wish Shahs of Sunset was still on.

2. I think if I were single with no kids, I’d be in a lot better shape. ‘Cuz I really don’t care about food, and could be happy eating ground turkey with black beans pretty much every meal. It’s these darn Cheeze-Its and Tostitos and Easter candy that are to blame. (And for those of you who knew me before husband and children and would beg to differ, all I have to say is put a sock in it.)

3. Sometimes as I’m driving around, I’ll see a particular place and think, “If I were homeless, that’s be a good place to camp out.”

4. Diet Coke is not the same as the European Coca-Cola Light and I miss it.

5. Actually, what I really miss is Pepsi Light that had the light lemon taste to it.

6. I’m really into navy and white this spring, with turquoise accents.

7.  Back in the 90s, everyone took pictures doing what we called the “sorority squat.” Every girl would semi-squat down and put their hands on their knees. Every single college picture I have is this way, and a lot post-college too. Five girls, in a row, all squatting for no reason. Lots of sky in our pictures. I’ve noticed the new posing trend is the Paris-Hilton-hand-on-hip-shoulder-back pose. It’s much more flattering. I could have benefitted from this back in college. Where was Paris when I was in college? Oh that’s right. Fifth grade.

8. I’d like to have a dinner party with Will Arnett and Christina Applegate. But they couldn’t be themselves, they’d have to act as their characters on Up All Night. I’d have to make a crock-pot meal, ‘cuz that’s all I’m really good at making. And I couldn’t guarantee many side dishes. I’d actually probably ask them to bring dessert. But after dinner we’d dance to the Beastie Boys. No sleep ’til Brooklyn, baby.

9. I’d like an 8 x 10 of Will Farrell’s face on my desk, so I could laugh on demand.

10. My daughter has started taking after me in the randomocity department.

This makes me happy on so many levels. And it’s one of my favorite words, too, honey. Mine too.

11. At a little boutique the other day, I was admiring a shirt and feeling a little proud of myself and the teeny-tiny-not-really-noticable changes this plan I’m on has made. When suddenly, out of nowhere, a petite little thing came over with her boyfriend. She pointed out a shirt, oohing and ahhhing over how adorable it was. Then she said, “Oh shoot, it only comes in a small, and they don’t have anything smaller.” I had an Ally McBeal moment where I imagined force-feeding her lasagna, garlic bread and cake. Because really, my actual skeleton would never be able to wear smaller than a small. I’d be six feet under for years before a small would be remotely close to comfortable. So I’ll take self-esteem for $800, Alex. And a pizza.

Do you feel more normal now? Surely you’ve got some randomness you can share to help us all feel a little less crazy. (Alright, fine. To make ME feel a little less crazy.)

Ooh, look! A Shahs rerun!