It’s different when you’re a wife. Or a mama. Or a close friend.

That gentle forgiveness you so easily give when there’s been a personal offense suddenly morphs into a hideous, spitting monster and a new level of ugly bursts forth from your heart when your daughter’s feelings get hurt…or your son gets pushed on the playground…or your husband is unappreciated…or your friend is taken for granted.

It’s different.

The mama bear holds grudges close to her heart and the incensed wife keeps tally in her record book and the bitter friend has the keys in her hand, ready to drive wherever necessary to kick some tail.

Wrongs done to me personally are different, somehow. I can empathize, be compassionate, have insight into the reasons why I have been hurt. I am able to see into the other person’s heart just enough to understand why they reacted the way they did and said what they said. It might take a while for me to clothe myself in forgiveness — to sink into it and offer it up, if only to God — but I eventually get there.

But until recently, I never realized how hard it is for me to forgive those who hurt my loved ones. My record-keeping is meticulous and the roots of bitterness run deep and are tangled up into a misshapen heap.

It’s different when you’re a wife. Or a mama. Or a close friend.

It’s different — but it’s wrong.

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13)

This week over at BE, we explore what it means to BE forgiving, not just DO forgiveness. And as is the case every single cotton-pickin’, stinkin’ week, God is driving this home in my personal life…illuminating the areas I need growth and highlighting the grisly mess of roots in my heart.

It hurts and I hate it, quite frankly. But I know it’s vital to growing more into the image — the eikon — of Christ.

Would you hop over to Be Still Be Free today and listen to this week’s podcast on BE FORGIVING? God will have a word for you today. I just know it.