Being Forgiving


It’s different when you’re a wife. Or a mama. Or a close friend.

That gentle forgiveness you so easily give when there’s been a personal offense suddenly morphs into a hideous, spitting monster and a new level of ugly bursts forth from your heart when your daughter’s feelings get hurt…or your son gets pushed on the playground…or your husband is unappreciated…or your friend is taken for granted.

It’s different.

The mama bear holds grudges close to her heart and the incensed wife keeps tally in her record book and the bitter friend has the keys in her hand, ready to drive wherever necessary to kick some tail.

Wrongs done to me personally are different, somehow. I can empathize, be compassionate, have insight into the reasons why I have been hurt. I am able to see into the other person’s heart just enough to understand why they reacted the way they did and said what they said. It might take a while for me to clothe myself in forgiveness — to sink into it and offer it up, if only to God — but I eventually get there.

But until recently, I never realized how hard it is for me to forgive those who hurt my loved ones. My record-keeping is meticulous and the roots of bitterness run deep and are tangled up into a misshapen heap.

It’s different when you’re a wife. Or a mama. Or a close friend.

It’s different — but it’s wrong.

“Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13)

This week over at BE, we explore what it means to BE forgiving, not just DO forgiveness. And as is the case every single cotton-pickin’, stinkin’ week, God is driving this home in my personal life…illuminating the areas I need growth and highlighting the grisly mess of roots in my heart.

It hurts and I hate it, quite frankly. But I know it’s vital to growing more into the image — the eikon — of Christ.

Would you hop over to Be Still Be Free today and listen to this week’s podcast on BE FORGIVING? God will have a word for you today. I just know it.

Five Minute Friday #39: REMEMBER

I link up with Lisa-Jo on Fridays for a writing flash mob…throwing caution to the wind and gathering to share what a few minutes of free writing can buy. 

Today’s topic: REMEMBER


It’s a tightrope walk, really, and it’s really long and strapped between two different worlds. And on one side is all the head knowledge about the truth and on the other side is all twisted lies about the truth, and it’s so hard to keep my balance between the two.

The lies whisper to me that I’m going to reap today what I sowed way back then, but head knowledge steadfastly reminds me that I am forgiven and it is remembered no more.

If it’s remembered no more, then why can’t I forget, too?

The rope I’m walking on is so thin and small and the long pole I’m gripping for dear life tilts back and forth, back and forth as these conflicting whispers take their turns.

And verse after verse that seem to contradict run through my mind:

“…forget the past and do not dwell on the former things…” (Isaiah 43:18)

“…remember what the Lord your God did…” (Deut 7:18)

“Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the Lord your God redeemed you from there.” (Deut 24:18)

“You will surely forget your trouble, recalling it only as waters gone by.” (Job 11:15-17)

And I try to forget and I try to remember and I feel so confused.

It’s then I remember that Jesus is in the and. He’s in the middle of this conflicting tightrope walk.

It’s not that I should only forget or only remember, it’s that I should forget AND remember, because Jesus is in the AND. That pole I’m holding is my AND. It’s what maintains my balance and my peace and my hope and my future so I won’t fall to one side or the other and die.

So I grip the pole tighter and hold it closer to my heart as I forget AND remember and keep walking toward my new world.