I Need a Resurrection

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I need a remembrance.

I need a table in an upper room with bread and a cup sitting as a centerpiece. Where I can leave the parts that have been taken and broken and betrayed — the parts where wounds bleed and bitterness grows — under the table at my feet.

Where I can bless the wounds and break the bitterness and give thanks for it all and do it in remembrance of Him.

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I need a ruin.

I need a cross high up on a hill with salvation pooling below. Where I can leave the parts of me that have been beaten and flogged and accused in its shadow. Where I can be saved not just from sin but from myself.

Where I can receive the forgiveness He offers me, and offer forgiveness of my own, in remembrance of Him.

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I need a resting place.

I need a tomb in the cleft of a rock where shelter and protection hide me. Where I can shed the blankets of isolation and loneliness that have become too heavy for me outside the door. Where I can receive living water and not just sour wine and be truly quenched.

Where I can wrap up the broken pieces and prepare them for burial, laying them to rest in remembrance of Him.

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I need a renewal.

I need a stone that’s rolled away and old rags folded and left behind. Where I am new in mind and spirit and body and soul, and I can walk out healed. Where thirst has no hold on me, and where isolation and brokenness and loneliness have no more victory.

Where I can roll away the stone that seems impossible to move and emerge free, showing my scars as a remembrance of Him.

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What I need is a resurrection.

I just desperately need Jesus. I need to let walls I’ve erected crumble and let Him to take these gray ashes and flickering embers and create something beautiful out of them, as only He can. I need the table and the cross and the tomb and the stone in a way I haven’t before. I need His body and His blood and His prayers and His forgiveness in an entirely new way.

I need a resurrection.

So today, I lay down my garments of distrust and cynicism and frustration and I wave my open palms and I welcome Him in. I shout Hosanna because blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord, bringing faith and hope and love. I pray I remain close to the vine and not deny Him or betray Him. I pray I remain steadfast and faithful, and on that third day I will be among the first to see that He has risen just as He said He would, and that through my tears I will see Him, as if it were the first time.

I need a resurrection.

Spring Breaking

I meant to say that I was going to be a little silent this week, as it’s my kids’ spring break. And my goal for this week has been quality time and fun (in between work stuff, of course).

And we have had a LOT of fun:


  • We went to Atlanta and saw our friend in Seussical: The Musical
  • Spent time with the Gamma and the Papa
  • Paxton has slept until about 9 every morning (which is enough fun in and of itself)
  • We got off the mountain and had lunch at Sonic and played games at the Fun Factory (our version of Chuck E. Cheese)
  • Jaana & I had a mommy-daughter date day and had lunch, saw a movie and went shopping
  • I’ve slept until at least 8 every morning (and one day until 9!)
  • We’ve been to Target TWICE
  • Jaana had a sleepover
  • I am slowly but surely catching up on my DVR full of ridiculously delicious television

All in all, it’s been awesome and it’s only Thursday!

So I might do Five Minute Friday tomorrow…or I might not. Just depends on how tired I am from all the fun. (And how discouraged I am that my clothes are ill-fitting due to an overload of the Cadbury Mini-Eggs and none of the running.)

So anyway. I might see you tomorrow, or I might see you Monday.

Have an amazing and lavishly blessed Easter — may the resurrection of our Lord be new and fresh to you this weekend.

Thanksday #60

Did you know…

  • It’s really easy to leave a comment on any of my posts? Just click the speech bubble next to the title and voila! (How do I get that French accent-thingy over the “a” to show up??)
  • I’ve woken up at 6 am for FOUR DAYS IN A ROW?
  • I woke up this morning (6 am) and saw myself in the mirror and freaked out a tiny bit? (Forgot to take off my make up last night. Bad, bad idea.)
  • That it was so cold yesterday, I had to wear winter socks and boots so my feet wouldn’t freeze?
  • Happy Endings wasn’t on last night and I miss the Friends-on-steroids-meets-Gilmore-Girls-fast-and-witty-banter and am feeling a little discombobulated?
  • I’m still debating whether or not I’m going to read The Hunger Games?
  • Saturday Night Live’s parody of Andy Cohen and Watch What Happens Live this week had me in tears? In. Tears.
  • I’m now totally addicted to Shahs of Sunset? Because I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — BravoTV could make a show about people shucking corn and I’d tune in mesmerized week after week after week. (Don’t judge me!)
  • That TV has obviously been a big part of my week?
  • I haven’t had a manicure in three weeks? Or a pedicure in eight months?

I spewed out all this randomocity for a reason: I think it’s important we establish upfront where my mind is at this week, and if you guessed “all over the place” then you’d take home the BRAND NEW CAR that’s some gawd-awful color you’d never really pick in real life. (Teal, I’m talking to you).

This was one of those weeks where my routine was thrown off and oh my heavens when did I become the old bitty who cannot handle her routine being thrown off? It was all good stuff — great stuff even — but it left me a little frantic. Which left me playing catch up. Which left me with no time to write like I’ve planned to do since Sunday. And whether or not what I write is actually anything — I gotta have my writing time. Even if it’s to try to tie together randomocity and make it seem like this one big, clever and creative post was supposed to be this way.

‘Cuz it is, you know.

(Is it obvious I’m drinking coffee as I write, and that the caffeine hasn’t quite kicked in yet?)

Thankfuls for this week!

1. Easter Weekend. What a fantastic and glorious weekend! From Good Friday to Easter Sunday…it was beautiful, meaningful and simply gorgeous. Here’s a mini photo-dump of Easter Sunday – and yes, Virginia…that is seersucker! (We are in the South, y’all.)

Isn’t my family just the cutest??

2. Cheat Days. So I’m doing this plan (I won’t say diet…I won’t say diet…) where you eat really well six days a week and then on the seventh day you can cheat and be totally gluttonous. (That’s in Genesis somewhere, you can look it up.) And if there’s anything I can stick with best, it’s a plan that lets me make myself sick with food once a week. Jaana now looks forward to that day, because she knows it means doughnuts for breakfast and pizza for dinner. (Although she has no idea why, because I never, ever talk about my weight or diets or anything like that in front of her.) I am seeing some results…I have to say…and I’ve been really good with this for a month now. The problem is this: I’ve always (is there a stronger word for ‘always’? Because that would totally apply.) had a sluggish metabolism. Even at 18 years old. Add on top of that a lifetime of yo-yo’ing and two kids. What do you have? A metabolism that has rolled over, died and has birdies twirling and chirping around its head. So while I am seeing results, they aren’t the ones I was hoping to see, especially after a month. However, it could possibly be due to pints of ice cream and pans of brownies once a week. But I just don’t know.

3. Mature, Seasoned Ladies. At our Women’s Retreat last month, during our small group time, I shared something that I’ve been struggling with. One of the very godly, mature (and might I add, hilarious) ladies later found me and said, “We need to get together soon.” And this week we finally did. She took me to lunch and asked more information about what I had shared. And then told me all about her struggles with the exact same issue. And I have to say, it was so incredibly encouraging! She didn’t have any words of wisdom, or any formula to fix it…but said, “I just wanted you to know I’ve been there. And if you need an empathetic ear, I’m here. Anytime.” And that, my friends, is living out Titus 2. I am so incredibly thankful that she reached out to me and made us getting together happen. I so, so needed that.

4. Gym Time. I mentioned last week how our neighborhood clubhouse is once again open, so this week Paxton and I hit it up and I got in a treadmill workout while he played in the kids room. He can only handle about 30 minutes of me not being with him…but it’s 30 minutes I didn’t have on a treadmill before. Feels good to be getting back into it. In fact, going to sign up for a 5k soon so that I can get back on this running bandwagon. I miss it.

5. Date Morning. Greg and I haven’t had our Thursday date morning for two weeks — one due to Spring Break, and the other due to Mama having to Easter shop. But we’re back on today and I can’t wait! Need some alone time with my man. At a restaurant. Where they serve my food and refill my coffee for me.

6. Talent Show. So, my girl is going to be in the school Talent Show tomorrow night and is singing “Party in the USA” with a classmate. They sound just precious when I hear them practice, and are all sorts of excited and nervous about it. Just for kicks, Jaana busted out with a British interpretation of it the other night that sounded like a spoken word performance, and I simply died. It was hysterical. So I put it on Facebook, naturally. Well, she found out I did that and now I’m in the dog house. So I can’t post the video here of my Spice Girl. But I love her talent and perseverance to get out there and try something totally new even though she’s nervous. I could care less how she does tomorrow night, and I’ve told her that (although she’ll be great). I’m just so proud of her for doing it.

7.  Second Grade Theology. Out of the blue the other day, Jaana started asking me about Jesus and the other two men who were being crucified next to Him. And if they went to heaven. And it opened up this 20-minute discussion on why the thief was being crucified, and why he was going to heaven, and how your actions…good or bad…have absolutely no bearing on your eternity. How your belief in Jesus Christ is it. Jaana asked some brilliant questions, and I was trying my darndest to not over-explain anything, because I wanted it to make sense to her eight year-old mind. It was a really beautiful conversation and I loved just watching her mull over and contemplate all these things related to Easter weekend.

I love each stage of life that my kids are in…but I especially love where we are with Jaana right now because of these things. We can talk and share on a whole new level. We even spent time talking this week about how she wants to be President, and how she’d really need to make sure she spent time reading the Bible and praying if she were President, so that God could help her make the right decisions. God has given her some unique wisdom and insight, and watching that flourish is just breathtaking.

(And as an aside, for the Talent Show, I tried to get the girls to change the words to the song and call it “Prayin’ in the USA” and talk about a “Jesus song was on…” but all I got was crickets and a blank stare.) (Can’t win ’em all.)

8. Habanero BBQ Almonds. Because eating raw almonds is like licking sawdust.

9. Cleaning Out Closets. I finally took time to clean out and organize my closet this week. Out went the clothes I haven’t worn in a year, or ones that I’m just waiting to eventually fit back into. Life’s too short to live with taunting and ugly reminders of what’s not happening. So now, I can wear about 85% of the stuff in my closet at any given time…instead of only about 50%. And that, my friends, is what I like to call progress.

10. Shoes. I got two great pairs of shoes this week on sale and spent $30 for both of them. What’s better than a shoe bargain? Cheat days. And that’s about it.

Your turn! Let me know what you’re thankful for this week and share the love. Leave a comment below or link up with Candra. It’ll be like having your own show on Bravo, except a lot more normal.

Thanksday #59

Look! Thanksday has it’s own special graphic now. And for no other reason than I  like to have visual aids with my points. If I thought you’d like it, I’d make a PowerPoint presentation and insert it into here.

But I loathe PowerPoint.

There’s not going to be much more of an intro here than this, and sorry about that. I stayed up until like 11 o’clock PM last night finishing this post, and had such a fun and witty (I thought) intro all written. (Uninteresting side note: sometimes I have the actual thankfuls written sporadically throughout the week, then I just wrap it up with an intro last.) (‘Cuz y’all were on the edge of your seats wondering how all this ridiculocity comes together.) I scheduled the post to go live at 6:30 am. So what happens when I get up at 6:30 am? The earlier version, incomplete, posted. With all sorts of random nonsensicals.

So now I’m a typing fool trying to remember what last-minute edits I made and republish this bad boy before y’all get yer lazy bums outta bed. (The things I do for the five of you.)

Thankfuls for this week!

1. H&M. I finally have been inaugurated into the H&M experience. Where have I been? Oh, that’s right. In the mountains. Needless to say, I got some super-cute things for Jaana for spring, and one floral-trend-inspired shirt for me. Which Greg hates and says looks like one of his grandmother’s shirts. Which means it’s fab-u-locity.

2. Kindred Spirits. I love when God brings friends into your life that leave you encouraged, edified and uplifted. And understood. And not alone. I had some time with that friend recently, and I’m always amazed at how much God loves us to continue to cross our paths time and time again. It leaves me with a heightened sense of anticipation about what might be to come in the future.

3. Nail Polish. Now that it’s 80-degrees (practically), I’ve officially switched out my boots for my spring and summer shoes. All of which are open-toed and all of which require a pedicure. I’ve yet to go professionally get the situation taken care of, so I’m DIY-ing it. My most recent polish selection was shimmery turquoise color. Which Greg hates. But we can’t live life keeping our husbands in a polish rut, can we? We’ve got to keep them on their toes. Literally.

4. Spring. Lots to be thankful for and happy about with this new season upon us, and you can read about all that here.

5. Veggie Tales Live. Paxton has just recently discovered the joy that is Bob and Larry. He knows almost all the silly songs by heart, and has certain favorites that we all know by heart now. (Cue His Cheeseburger and The Water Buffalo Song.) So when we found out that Veggie Tales Live was coming to our area, we did what every family does on every Palm Sunday – took them to the show. He truly had no idea what he was walking in to. I think in his little mind it was basically a Veggie Tales movie.

See? Watching the video screens, saying ‘cheese’ to I don’t know who.

But when Bob and Larry strolled out larger than life, my little dude gasped loudly and said, “Iss Larry! Iss Bob!” And proceeded to have the time. of. his. life. Anytime Larry or Bob left the stage, he was up in arms about whether or not they’d be back. The suckers that we are, Greg bought him a stuffed Larry, and it goes everywhere with him and Elmo. And Jaana’s nightgown of choice is her oversized Larry t-shirt.

I’m just ready to stop going to bed and waking up in the mornings with Love My Lips on my lips.

6. Highlights. I made the blessed mistake of going darker on my hair at my last visit. For some reason, I’ve been all worried about turning 39, and do I look like I’m trying to hard with blonder highlights? and I don’t even know what my real color is anymore. And while the darker blonde hid the grow-out very well, it just didn’t feel like me. And I kept using blonde-enhancing shampoo to lighten it up. At my most recent visit (6 weeks overdue, might I add), I went back to my regular blonde.

Because I had this epiphany – if Kelly Ripa and Gwenyth Paltrow can have blondie-blonde hair and be my age, then sure as heck I can too.

And as Hair Guy removed the towel and shook out my hair, I just heaved a sigh of joy and relief and literally said out loud, “Welcome home!” And now all my bright colored clothes (three tops…it’s not like I have green skinny jeans or anything like that.) (Yet.) look normal on me once again. Why didn’t anyone tell me it was so bad?? And you call yourselves friends. Sheesh.

7. Easter. Christy Nockels said it best on Twitter this week: “I love Easter! It’s all about Jesus but no mad rush at the malls to buy presents. We get to just face the wonder of our risen Lord & rejoice.” I can’t add or take away anything from those 140 characters that could make it better. Jesus is everything. I do everything for Him and nothing without Him. If He isn’t your personal Lord and Savior – the Giver of All Good Things in your life – the Breath of Heaven to your very tired, weary and worn out soul – you need to contact me and I’ll help you make that happen.

(Shameless plug alert: And if you live in my community and don’t have a home church, please come to Community Bible Church at 10:45 am on Easter morning! Amazing programs for the kids, and I can tell you personally (‘cuz I’m in the choir), the worship is going to rock. your. face. off.)

8. WordPress. The enormously long saga of switching to WordPress is finally (FINALLY!) complete. (And I just heard a collective, “Thank God now we can stop hearing about it across the world wide web.”) Oh my word, I’m so happy.

9. Laughing Until I Cry. Y’all, I read this post at like 6:45 am one morning and was laughing so hard, and crying from laughing so hard, I couldn’t breathe or see. Maybe because it’s something my friends and I would do. Maybe it’s just something I would do. Whatevs.

10. Tickling Myself. (Not literally. Ew.) I just discovered on this here WordPress that I can give each of the links to other sites personalized titles. Hover over any of the links above to see. I make myself chuckle. A lot. It’s the little things, people. Or as I like to say, “ITLTP.” (Okay, I don’t really like to say that.)

And let me add a bonus thankful, just for missing last week:

11. Babies. People I adore have welcomed babies into their families this week! So exciting and fun for them. Two baby girls. God is so good.

Another bonus, just ‘cuz I’m feeling extra chipper:

12. The Von Trapp Family Bloggers. Greg has officially launched blog, and has had some great posts already. His focus is on leadership, and I for one, am proud of him for getting out there! (Just don’t muscle in on my followers, or you’re swimmin’ wit da fishes.)

Your turn! Let me know what you’re thankful for this week and share the love. Leave a comment below or link up with Candra. It’s a lot more fun than PowerPoint. And that’s a fact, jack.