Five Minute Friday #23 – GRACEFUL

I link up with Lisa-Jo on Fridays for a writing flash mob…throwing caution to the wind and gathering to share what a few minutes of free writing buys us.

Today’s topic: GRACEFUL

GO.

I see her from time to time. She shows up in the ugly times — the times when I’m feeling low or snarky or combative or frustrated. She shows up in my mind and seasons salt all over the circumstances and shines brightly into the darkness of myself.

I see her from time to time. She shows up in the quiet times — the times when I’m feeling self-conscious and insecure and awkward and isolated. She shows up in my mind and has a graceful boldness that invites others in and speaks affirmation and walks in confidence and befriends strangers.

I see her.

I see her and I admire her and am jealous of her and wish she’d go away, too. She’s graceful and mature and wise and unselfish and is all the things I want to be but am not. And when she appears, she reminds me of how far I have to go to become her and she shows up uninvited almost every time. That’s her only flaw, really, and I like to call it rude but how can you fault someone for being what you’re not? It’s impossible.

So I see her and she is my mirror reflecting all the things God wants for me and I want for myself and I try to remember what she looks like when I’m living in the mundane. And I try to embrace her as I would a surprise visit from a friend when she appears in the snarky and combative and selfish and lonely times. I try to invite her in for coffee and sit to break bread with her, for if I spent more time with her then maybe she would rub off on me.

And maybe I’d become graceful, too.

STOP.

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Five Minute Friday #22 – CHANGE

I link up with Lisa-Jo on Fridays, where writing solely for the fun of it is the priority: “On Fridays over here a group of people who love to throw caution to the wind and just write gather to share what five minutes buys them. Just five minutes. Unscripted. Real. Your words. This shared feast.”

Today’s topic: CHANGE

GO.

It’s a symphony of firsts and the instruments hit each note with intensity. I want to run but the front door is so heavy. I want to write but that first word escapes me. I want to read but opening the cover feels like work. Yet once the door is open and the word is written and the cover is opened, the score builds slowly and deliberately and reaches crescendos again and again.

The altos are the body and the sopranos are the spirit and the tenors and bass are the mind. And the altos sing ‘go’ and the sopranos sing ‘you got this’ and the tenors and bass pepper in ‘are you sure? maybe you should reconsider’ but blended together it’s a harmony of richness and enticement.

Verse one tells of birthing and verse two explains preparing and verse three shares the joy of flying, and the chorus that connects all the verses together reminds us of the process of emerging and how all of it…this process of becoming…can only happen when we choose to sing along.

This is my song and will be the message I share until the final bow — this is a life of becoming. We are always ‘ing’ and God always keeps us ‘in the process of’ and that’s His purpose. Today was the first day in many I actually opened that front door and ran again and God and I, we write when I run. And as we ran the butterfly with bright blue wings flitted past and God whispered,

“What would have happened if you hadn’t opened the door today? You would have missed this and missed us and you can only become when you participate in the song.”

And He reminded me that the butterfly only flies after the cocooning and the fruit is only ripe after it has been green and the seconds, thirds and fourths only come after the firsts. And the door is heavy and the words escape and reading is work because there’s only one who wants to keep me trapped in a bodily prison and a locked mind and a crushed spirit. And he is easily defeated after doing just the first.

So I replay the song again and again and memorize each note and swell and rest and measure. And I keep my eye on the conductor the whole time and the more I play the more I become.

STOP.