Dancing

LITTLE GIRLS DANCING

I know you’re there.

Standing in the corner, sneaking peeks at her hair and her clothes and she’s so in shape…and then looking down at yourself feeling frumpy and plain.

I know you’re there.

Sitting in front of your computer, looking at her blog and her twitter followers and she seems to have it all figured out…and you feel insignificant and invisible.

I know you’re there.

Worshipping in church or volunteering at school, and she’s got so much talent and she’s such a servant and her heart seems so pure…and you suddenly feel so very selfish and very, very  average.

I know you’re there, because I’m there, too. 

It’s a lonely dance for one, this comparison thing, because true dancing is made for two. For partners, for groups, for community. For a body.

And that’s what we all are, isn’t it? A body of believers, a body of women, a body of image-bearers all figuring out the moves that work for us individually and for our age and our limitations…dance moves that represent who we are.

And yet all we do is watch everyone else dancing and try to dance like them.

Why is so hard to stop doing that?

Head Truth tells me I am beloved and chosen and unique and set apart. That I am loved and that thought beautiful and a one-of-a-kind creation.

But heart truth has enormous, giant walls with guards and gates that keeps Head Truth out. And those guards are always whispering criticism and convincing me that Head Truth is just theory — and only applicable to everyone else.

I’m tired of dance moves that are awkward and uncomfortable. I’m tired of the snickers from the guards when I’m dancing awkwardly.

I’m tired of dancing alone.

I’m ready to embrace the Head Truth and make it connect to my heart. And I think that starts with choosing to believe my head even when my heart wants to dismiss it. (tweet)

So I believe each truth my head speaks to me, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day.

And I gather up my friends, my sisters, my body and I start dancing with them once again.

And I dance awkwardly at first because I don’t exactly how I dance yet.

But as I figure out what feels natural and right, first by recognizing what feels unnatural and wrong, I break down the walls and shoot down the guards and unlock the gates…

one unadulterated and carefree dance at a time.

MDS-SIG-01

Chasing Rainbows

The dog was barking. I was trying to clean up the kitchen after dinner, but the craziness of the dog assured me he indeed needed to get out. Now.

As soon as I got outside, raindrops began falling. And heavily. I looked to my right and the sky was dark as night. But to my left, the sun was shining as bright as it could be, casting glorious sun rays through the trees.

Perfect conditions for a rainbow.

I stared down those dark, gray clouds with all my might…looking for the slightest hint of color. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me…but sure enough, through the thick across the way, I saw hints of red, orange and yellow.

So I ran.

The farther I went, the brighter the colors became. When I got to the top of the hill, I could see the perfect arc of the rainbow. What took my breath away even more was not just the double rainbow that seemed to suddenly appear, but that the rainbow itself had a rainbow shadow. It looked like red, orange, yellow, green, indigo, violet…green, indigo, violet.

It was stunning.

I went to where I knew I could view the rainbow perched high over the lake, and I just sat soaking it in as long as it lasted.

And I thought.

I pondered about Noah and that first rainbow that God placed in the sky, and wondered if he chased it, trying to get a better view. And I wonder if Noah’s rainbow had a shadow, too.

I thought about how if I had just sent the dog out of the door instead of walking him myself, I would have missed the rainbow. Or if I would’ve been too focused on staying dry, how I would have missed the rainbow.

And I thought about how often in our daily lives, we miss rainbows all the time. Because we’re too lazy to get up and walk. Or we’re too concerned with avoiding the storm. And by how focusing on our circumstances keeps us from noticing how often the conditions are perfect for a rainbow.

We see the dark gray clouds to our right and feel the rain. But that’s all we see. We tend to so easily forget to look to our left and see the sun. And The Son. And how rainbows only occur through the blending of the the two.

We only get to see the truly glorious when we focus on Jesus in the midst of darkness, and not the darkness itself. And when we do, He strokes His hand across our circumstances leaving a lasting promise to remind us He will never leave us or forsake us.

A promise of how His love endures forever.

I later discovered that “rainbow shadow” I saw is known as a supernumerary rainbow. A highly infrequent phenomenon, that according to Atmospheric Optics, is “an intimation of the limitations of geometric optics for it is totally unable to explain them.” (Emphasis mine)

And isn’t the same true of our Jesus? How His miracles and blessings and grace and mercy are unable to be explained due to the limitations of our humanity?

Go. Ignore the chaos around you and get up and walk. Go dance in the rain. Search with all your might for a rainbow. And when you see one, be overwhelmed with the knowledge that He put it there just for you. Just for today. Just because.

Oh. How He loves us.

Selah.