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December 4, 2014

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Thanksday #96

I’ve long neglected this space. Be started 14 months ago and has been my heartbeat (and rightfully so), but lately there has been a pull back to here — this place that’s just me, exploring and pondering and wondering — and I’ve found myself hopping back. Checking things out. Testing my fingers in these waters and enjoying the rush of cool and peace and home.

So I wrote something this week. And it felt awkward at first, and then familiar, and then like walking in the front door after a semester at college. This has always been, and always will be, the safe place I come home to.

There’s no place like home for the holidays, am I right?

As I typed out a status update on Facebook today, it brought to mind gratitude and thanksgiving and my heart again was pulled back here. After all, it is Thursday — Thanksday — and I got that wild urge to make me a thankful list.

(I also got that wild urge to forget to pick up my kids from school and just take off to The Big City for some shopping, but I thought this would be the more responsible thing to do.)

In no particular order, thankfuls for this week:

1. Christmas Blend Espresso Roast. It just might be what I look forward to the most every Christmas, but for some bizarre reason, they are only making half-pound bags right now, which makes me want to pull my hair out. Yes, I could just buy two, but I miss the big shiny bags with the fancy Christmas design. It doesn’t look as festive in an 8-oz size. (But it’s still delicious, don’t get me wrong.)

2. Pandora. All I play right now is my Frank Sinatra holidays station, and my car is a happy place full of the crooning of Frank, Ella, Dean, Sammy, Billie, Louie and others belting out Christmas favorites. My car is an even happier place when I’m be-bopping along with a Christmas Blend in my hand.

3. A Clean & Quiet House. I love being at home in the mornings, completely alone, in a house that’s decorated for Christmas and clean. Everything stays exactly where I leave it for those precious few hours, and there are no wrestling figures laying around, or shoes in my way, or crumbs trailing or PAW Patrol blaring. Sitting in peace and quiet and clean makes my heart so happy.

4. Mollie. Mollie is our three-year old Maltese we adopted at the beginning of the summer, and she is unquestionably the perfect dog for this family. She’s incredibly low-key, relaxed, chill, small, doesn’t shed, and the kids melt into puddles around her. Compared to Dogtastrophe of 2012 when psycho dog came into our lives briefly, not a day goes by that we don’t celebrate the chillness that is Molls. Even now, she’s just curled up into a ball on the white fuzzy blanket, and I can’t tell where she ends and the blanket begins. I love that. And I love my kids don’t walk around with high blood pressure and raised shoulders around her, unsure if she’ll snap or not. ‘Cuz not.

5. Breakfast Dates. For the first time in an embarrassing six months, Greg and I had a breakfast date this week. We used to do them weekly during the school year last year, but this year has been chaotic as I’ve done an extraordinary amount of traveling (which I am NOT complaining about and hey, Santa, bring me some more of that this year? Please and thanks.). But this week it made me remember with glee how much I love spending time with my husband. He is my most best BFF and honestly I’d rather hang out with him than anyone else on the planet. That was a fun omelet, and I’d like to do that again soon. (Please and thanks.)

6. The Dollar Store. Because wrapping paper, bows, ribbons and gift tags don’t come cheap, and I’m trying to save wherever possible.

7. Burt’s Bees Tinted Lip Balm in Red Dahlia. This stuff is my jam. I can’t stand lipstick anymore, and lip stains don’t work for me. But this stuff right here? It rocks my face off. It’s soft and creamy and just enough color to make it actually look like I have lips (somehow, as I’ve gotten older, they are blending into the color of my skin. What the??). I forgot to grab my tube of this one day while we were at Disney World, and when I mentioned out loud I needed chapstick, my amazing sister-in-law pulled out hers and said I could borrow some. IT WAS THIS EXACT LIP BALM. I died with joy, and I fell in love with her more, as if that were even possible. (Burt’s has other colors too, but this is the best, IMHO.)

8. Phone Dates. I had a (long overdue) phone chat with one of my BFFs from the Wessside this week, and it made my heart burst wide open and tears flood from my eyes realizing how much I miss my people out there. It was so wonderful to hear her voice and catch up properly on life happenings. While Facebook is great for keeping tabs on everyone, nothing compares to voice-to-voice conversation and shared laughter to the point of happy tears. (Well actually, nothing compares to doing that in person, but this is the next best thing.)

9. Wrapping Gifts. It is a completely love-hate relationship, gift wrapping. I love to do it — it’s cathartic and fun and I can sort of zone out while I do it — but I’m also a bit of a perfectionist about it (thanks, Mom! I love tape!). I’m trying a new thing this year — wrapping as I go — hoping that doing a little bit each day will make wrapping all fun instead of stressful. Or, if my family wants to send gifts pre-wrapped this year, that’s great too! (Hint, ahem, cough, grin.)

10. The Best Yes. Over at Be, we were able to have a wonderful conversation with Lysa TerKeurst about her latest book, The Best Yes. (You can listen to it here.) The entire book (and our interview with her about it) is about giving yourself permission to make the best decisions for yourself and your life (with God’s guidance, of course) and gracing yourself to let out a NO from time to time. It’s a game-changer, this one. And as we embark into one of the ~~busiest and stressful~~ most wonderful times of the year, the timing of this message is impeccable. I’m giving myself permission to give only best yeses this Christmas as well as from now on, and I’m excited about it.

Well lookie there. I just completed my first Thanksday in 10 months. That felt nice.

What about you? What’re some things you’re thankful for this week? (Or have you been thankful for in the past 10 months?) Leave a comment and share the gratitude! And I’ll see you ~~in another 10 months~~ soon!

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Monica

Posted on

February 7, 2014

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BLOG, Giving thanks, Marriage

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Thanksday #95: ANNIVERSARY EDITION

I hated my wedding dress.

Well actually, I loved the dress a lot. When I saw it in a picture for the first time, I knew it was the one I wanted. The problem was, I hated it on me. But I had ordered it immediately and spent no time looking at what else was available, or seeing what dress was best for my body type. And so wedding day comes and I’m so self-conscious (because, hello, have we met?) and wishing I would’ve shopped around. (Like Mama said I’d better.)

I loved my flowers.

They were eggplant-black calla lilies and simply breathtaking. For a February wedding, I thought it was a perfect contrast to the ivory dress. I think they ended up costing as much as my dress, I can’t be sure. But they were worth every single penny.

I hated my make up.

Greg’s never been a huge fan of a lot of make up anyway, so I was going for a soft-palette that I did myself and that included a nude-ish lip. The problem was, I brought no other make up to the church. And suddenly my whiteness in early February while wearing an ivory dress with soft make up and a nude lip made me look very, very pale. So I borrowed some lipstick from my friend to brighten things up a bit, and it wasn’t a color I usually wear, which made me self-conscious (because, hello, have we met?).

I loved our music.

A brother and sister duo sang all the music and even the song I walked down the aisle to. Their voices were beautiful and matched our unusual selection of songs perfectly. Hearing them sing us down the aisle as Mr. & Mrs. to some Stevie Wonder put a smile on my face that still appears when I think about it.

I loved the groom.

I loved his highlighted hair and clean-shaven face (which I now like scruffy instead). I loved how he stood proudly at the front of the chapel with a small white calla lily boutonnière. I loved how he whispered funny things to me during the ceremony and we awkwardly stared at each other during slow parts and I was so relieved we were laughing…being us…even at the altar.

The thing about my wedding day is that it wasn’t totally perfect. I missed loved ones who couldn’t be there. I was self-conscious and practically dragged (drug?) my dad down the aisle because seeing everyone watch me freaked me out. It wasn’t a fairy tale, I didn’t feel like a princess, it wasn’t everything I ever dreamed of. (Mainly because I never actually dreamed about my wedding day, to be honest.)

But the marriage…oh, the marriage. Not perfect — but perfect imperfection.

We celebrate 11 years of marriage today. Eleven years since that not-so-perfect dress was put on my not-so-perfect body and I not-so-perfectly said vows that I meant with my whole heart.

And as I do every year, I kick myself for not shopping for dresses or hiring a professional person to do make up. And then, as I do every year, I wave away those thoughts as the memories of these past 11 years flash in a rapid slide show in my mind…

…our first days in our house as husband and wife
…our early days figuring out ministry together
…finding out I was pregnant for the first time
…curling up on the couch to watch ridiculous TV and eating take out
…taking our daughter for walks at the park
…boxes of Little Debbie oatmeal pies
…missions trips
…italy
…the times Greg wouldn’t let me have a pity party
…the times he gave me space to process, mourn, cry
…the laughter, OH THE LAUGHTER
…Georgia football games
…his strong fingers entwined in mine as we grab toilet paper in bulk from the warehouse store
…pushing him out of bed accidentally when he snored too much
…his strong arms holding me after my first miscarriage
…the mediocre dinners and uninspired grocery shopping he puts up with
…unending support toward my dreams and callings

All the good, the bad, the ugly and the great that make up 11 years flood my mind and heart until it could burst.

I’m so lucky to do life with this man.

The thing about a wedding is that it’s a day and the thing about a marriage is that it’s a lifetime. (click to tweet that)

A wedding day is important and by all means, make it as perfect as you can. But it might not be a fairy tale you’ve dreamed about always. You might be self-conscious about showing your arms in your dress and wishing you had ruby lips to say “I do” with while missing people close to your heart. It might all be awful or it might all be perfect.

But it’s all the other days that really, truly matter. Your wedding — it’s not everything.

Everything starts the day after the wedding and the day after that and the day after that.

Everything is the mundane that’s made extraordinary simply because you’re together. (click to tweet that)

Everything is realizing you’d rather spend one day at home doing nothing with him than spend a thousand days of exotic adventure without him.

I cannot imagine doing life without this man.

We celebrate 11 years of imperfect perfection today. And while we’ll celebrate and look back, mostly we’ll laugh and look ahead. And while we’ll reminisce, mostly we’ll dream. We’ll dream of all the extraordinary mundane-ness we’ve yet to experience together; of all the bulk toilet paper yet to buy; of the football games and mediocre dinners and snoring left to endure.

We’ll look ahead and dream and laugh about all of it.

And we’ll love it.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Monica

Posted on

January 29, 2014

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Thanksday #94: Snowpocalypse Edition

They’re sitting at the kitchen counter with snacks, giggling at the Dino-Puffles on ClubPenguin.com. She’s got her fuzzy peace-sign pants on and he’s changed his clothes for the third time — from pajamas to his football uniform to his soccer uniform. Earlier we watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 and then he had his “football game” while she and I snuggled in the chair.

The snow came to the mountains quickly yesterday and after just 20 minutes of school we all got our kids home — in our four-wheel drive cars on our unpopulated roads covered in powdery snow, not ice.

We’ve all been home together for more than 24 hours — warm, clothed and fed — and my heart is so full I could burst.

Meanwhile in Atlanta, my friend who’s pregnant was in her car for seven hours trying to get home, and her husband got home hours later after abandoning his car and walking five miles. I’m thankful she wasn’t the woman who gave birth in her car. I’m thankful her husband got home safely.

Family members of ours had friends who slept overnight at the school while jury duty kept another one from being all the way across town, inevitably stuck for the night. I’m thankful they were able to get home and were all together last night under the same roof.

One friend didn’t get home for over eight hours, which included abandoning her car and walking miles home with her daughter. I’m thankful she made it home safely.

Another spent the night work while her child spent the night at school. Her child thought it was the coolest adventure ever. I’m thankful they had warmth and shelter and could rest knowing each other was safe.

Some other friends live close enough to walk to and from school and were able to get to their kids quickly and back home quickly. I’m thankful they stayed outside helping cars that were stuck, and providing food and drink to those who needed it.

My news feed on Facebook last night was bleeding with people desperately trying to make it to their kids, to their homes, to any shelter they could find whatsoever. Prayer after prayer escaped my lips as my stomach wrenched trying to imagine not being able to reach my children, or my husband, or my home.

I cannot even begin to imagine.

And as quickly as my news feed bled desperation, it suddenly began bleeding hope as friends began offering homes to stranded strangers, as businesses stayed open and provided shelter, as four-wheeler owners offered to make runs anywhere possible to get people home.

“A giving person will receive much in return, and someone who gives water will also receive the water he needs.” (Proverbs 11:25)

I’m thankful that when it really matters, people put aside differences and simply see each other as brothers and sisters in need, and reach out like a good Samaritan to simply help.

I’m thankful that Facebook became a place of reassurance, help and hope. I’m thankful the news feed was filled the heart of Christ last night instead of arguing, gossip or slander.

“Get beyond yourselves and protecting your own interests; be sincere, and secure your neighbors’ interests first.” (Philippians 2:4)

As my kids are snuggled warm in our nest, and our house is filled with laughter, food and warmth, I know I’m blessed. But as I watch brother helping brother, and friend helping friend, I realize that those in the thick of it…they are the ones who are truly, eternally blessed.

“Don’t hold back—give freely, and you’ll have plenty poured back into your lap—a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, brimming over. You’ll receive in the same measure you give.” (Luke 6:38)

I’m so thankful to those who provided prayer, shelter, food, vehicles, provision and help in any way whatsoever. May it be poured back into your lap pressed down and shaken together. God is smiling on you.

“I tell you this: whenever you saw a brother or sister hungry or cold, whatever you did to the least of these, so you did to Me.” (Matthew 25:40, Voice)

Please continue to pray for those trying desperately to reach each other and home.

What are you thankful for this week?

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Monica

Posted on

January 23, 2014

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Thanksday #93

Please don’t turn me in, but we sorta kinda played hooky yesterday.

We got a sudden influx of snow on Tuesday night, which caught everyone off-guard. They delayed the school day a couple of hours but the back roads by our house were still icy and slick, so we made an executive decision to keep everyone home. And then church was cancelled for the night.

So we sledded and threw snowballs (me and the kids) and took naps (Paxton) and drank coffee (not the kids) and played video games (not me). And for the first time in a long while, not a single one of us had to leave the house at all (not a single one of us).

Except to sled.

It was as glorious as it sounds.

Here’s the thing about me — if finances and time permitted, I’d be jettisoning off to Paris or Europe or Africa on adventures and mission trips all the time. But if you make me leave the house multiple times a day to do school and grocery and church and doctor appointment runs, I’m going to complain pretty much non-stop about how I just don’t want to have to go anywhere for one stinking day, please! and can I just have all my people under one roof for that day, too?? That’d be awesome.

Thankfuls this week:

1. Glee. Do you know what pure, unadulterated glee sounds like? It sounds like a four year-old boy who sleds down the same hill time after time after time laughing his adorable little head off, then jumping up and shouting “again!” and running with a bad case of the giggles up the hill just one…more…time.

2. Dirty Dishes. The dishes need to be emptied from the dishwasher — it’s been hours and hours since they were washed — and the sink is full of a whole new batch and the floors need to be vacuumed. But I haven’t done a lick of it yet, and feel no stress or anxiety about making sure it gets done right this minute! Instead I’m going with the flow of today, and it doesn’t include dirty dishes. Yet. (I’m calling that maturity, not laziness, FYI.)

3. Super Bowls. And I’m not talking soups for bowls. My hometown team — the team I grew up watching, the team that had the greatest duo ever, Zorn and Largent…IS GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! It’s so stinking exciting. I feel like I’m 10 years old cheering them on again and stalking Jim Zorn around my church when he was a guest speaker. Or something like that. #goseahawks #12thman #hashtagsinblogpostsdontmakesense

4. Be Still by Bethel Music. This song here is my mantra right now.

Be still my heart and know
You are God alone
Stop thinking so much
and just let go…

5. A Listening Ear. Do you know what’s absolutely priceless? A doctor who listens — really listens — to what’s going on with you and doesn’t brush you off or make you feel like you’re crazy. A doctor who actually verifies some things you thought were going on. For the first time in years, I felt completely heard. This new doctor took me seriously and offered real solutions. It meant so much to me I cried right there on the paper-covered exam table.

6. No Distractions. Our pastor challenged the church to a week-long distraction-free fast this week…to put down any social media or technology that is a distraction to us and instead focus on praying for those in need in our lives. After assessing the things most distracting to me, I decided to fast Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest. And I have to admit — the first day was hard. I’m so used to mindlessly scrolling through each of these apps throughout the day — in carline, when I’m procrastinating, when I’m watching TV even. But after day two, it got a lot easier. And by day three, I haven’t really missed it at all. I know I’ll be back on each of these after the fast, but I’m hoping my involvement is more intentional and active, not just a passive way to pass time. (And it forced me to personally connect with people — specifically, two friends who are literally about to have babies any minute! And personal connection wins every time.) (I just tend to forget that.)

7. One Hour. After sick days and snow days and doctor appointment days, it was heavenly to have just one hour alone at the coffee shop this week. (I adore all my people together under one roof, but all the togetherness has to be balanced with some solo time for Mama. You know?) It was just me, my roasted red pepper soup and drip coffee with two shots. Just what the doctor ordered.

8. From the Mouths of Babes. This month at church is called “Famuary” where we have our kids with us during the worship part of our service and some of our kids even help lead worship. And I am here to tell you — being a part of a service led by kids ranging from 5-12 years old is about the most holy thing you’ll ever experience. If your heart isn’t moved as they proclaim scripture and sing their hearts out to Jesus, you’re just a mean one, Mrs. Grinch.

9. Hilarity. Laughter is the best medicine, and I love, love, love, love, LOVE that it can be found almost daily at my house. “You have filled me with joy, and happiness has risen in my heart, great delight and unrivaled joy, even more than when bread abounds and wine flows freely.” (Psalm 4:7, The Voice)

10. Freezers. This is so ridiculous. But due to our snow day yesterday we didn’t get to church last night. And since there was no church, there was no dinner planned at my house, since we usually eat at church on Wednesdays. Fortunately, I had a hodge-podge of french fries, fried pickles and boneless wings in the freezer, and therefore, we feasted like kings.

I’m so grateful for you — you make this post the most fun one of my week! Please share your thankfuls so we can all celebrate together. Happy almost-weekend, everyone.

What are you thankful for this week?

Posted by

Monica

Posted on

January 16, 2014

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Thanksday #92

As soon as church was over last night, Paxton turned to me suddenly and said, “I think I might frow up.” Which for him, usually means he’s exhausted and ready to go to bed, especially since it was literally 10 minutes from his bedtime. So I poo-poo’d his supposed “nausea” and headed out to say goodbye to Greg.

We walked down the hall and suddenly, right there in the hall outside the sanctuary, he lost his dinner. We raced home and he was fine until 10 pm when he kept saying he might throw up but didn’t; he just tossed and turned for four hours and finally fell asleep around 2 am after a pretty significant upchuck.

So I’m incredibly discombobulated today, due to lack of sleep and fear that every minor sensation in my stomach means I’ve caught his stomach bug.

Needless to say, I’m very thankful for:

1. Coffee. I cannot deal with just five hours of sleep. Can. Not. Deal.

2. Lysol. It’s so obviously a fumigation kind of day.

3. Paper Towels. I mentioned this briefly on Facebook the other day — I have a slight obsession with paper towels, and use an extraordinary amount of them every week. There is nothing like the feeling of being down to the end of your last roll…and then coming home from the store with a fresh 6-pack. There really isn’t. I know it’s probably not very eco-friendly and it’s not super cost-effective, but it grosses me out to no end to use cloth to clean countertops and stovetops and all things kitchen and bathroom. And since I’m not a super-duper cleaner in any other way, shape or form, I feel it’s important to at least clean these countertops with excellence. And with the quicker picker-upper.

4. Windex Multi-Surface Cleaner. I became slight addicted to this after staying with my sister-in-law at Thanksgiving, and I even sent her a text of gratitude. It smells divine and can be used on mirrors, counters, and (more!) since it’s also anti-bacterial. Cleaning counters with excellence. It’s our new family motto.

5. Normal Sleep Settings. I mentioned last week how my FitBit is showing very erratic sleeping patterns, which probably explains a general fatigue most days. Well after some investigation, I realized it was set to a “sensitive” sleep setting which pretty much tracks any movement (rolling over) as “restless.” After changing it to “normal” however, it now shows an 80-90% sleep efficiency, versus 50-60%. This doesn’t affect my sleep whatsoever, or make me feel more rested in the morning per se, but instead of stressing out every morning about ineffective sleep, I think, “not bad.”

6. Nitrous Oxide (aka Laughing Gas). I am a 40-year old ninny when it comes to the dentist. And this week I had to get a crown because I AM A QUEEN. (Why is it that just sitting in the waiting room of a dentist’s office makes my inside churn I resort to a fearful nine year-old girl?) When they called me back to the chair, I proudly stood and lifted my head high and looked down my nose like the Dowager Countess and said, “I’d like some nitrous today, please.” And the laughing gas, coupled with my Justin Timberlake album, brought me to a happy, happy place. (With an 85% sleep efficiency.)

7. Downton Abbey. Listen, I adore Downton for all the same reasons you do — the setting, the accents, the clothes, Maggie Smith, the DRAMA. But my most favorite thing about Downton is that IT IS COMMERCIAL-FREE. It’s so nice to watch something recorded and not have to fast-forward through five minutes of commercials every eight minutes. #firstworldproblems

8. New Blog Series. I’m starting a new blog series in a couple of weeks called A Beautiful Life. It’s based on Psalm 16:11 from The Voice, “You direct me on a path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with you, the pleasures are never-ending, and I know true joy and contentment.” The reason I’m so excited about it is that I’m going to have four or five of my most favorite bloggers as guests for the series AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THEM! I simply cannot wait to share their beautiful perspectives and watch how God weaves together this amazing kaleidoscope of beauty together. Make sure to tune in on Tuesday, January 25 as we kick off the series!

9. Beanitos Black Bean Chips. When your church corporately does a Daniel Fast, one finds it hard to let go of their tortilla chip and Cheez-It habit. (Or so I hear.) A friend introduced me to the Beanito Black Bean Chip last year during the fast, and I have to admit I am completely addicted. And I feel no guilt eating them during the Fast since they are literally just made of black beans, rice, safflower oil and sea salt. Know this about me, if there is a loophole to be found, I WILL FIND IT.

10. ALL CAPS. Obviously I am a fan of the all caps option today. I have no explanations.

Alright folks, my little sickie is off for his nap to make up for the fact he only got five of his required 12 hours of sleep last night. And that means I’m off to take mine since I only got five of my required seven-and-a-half to eight. Here’s to hoping my nap gives me a solid 90% sleep efficiency.

What are you thankful for this week?