WEEK 2 – DANCING AMID DISASTER
WEEK 3 – BEAUTY IN THE BROKENNESS
This is Sara. I first met her years and years ago at my sister-in-law’s house, and as we chatted in that kitchen one summer day, I remember distinctly telling God that I really, really needed to be friends with her. She has a confidence and wisdom that I was desperately lacking, and just knew in that place you know, that I could benefit from being around that. And here we are, a decade or so later — not just friends, but partners in this ministry-movement-thing called BE. God, you take all our little dreams and blow them up into amazing every time, don’t you?
Sara is a lover of life and of people and believes in a life of transparency and honesty laced with grace and kindness. After God practically had to hit her over the head, she finally grasped the concept that it is okay to be exactly the way He created you to be and who He created you to be (though she admits He has to remind her every once in a while). She also enjoys exercise, entertaining, decorating for the holidays and family dinners. And although she enjoys sharing life with others, nothing can replace the joy of serving her family — sitting for hours at ball fields, cooking, endless hours of homework, listening to the stories of the day, or admiring the one that completes her and makes her a better person. She podcasts and writes at Be Still Be Free.
When Monica approached me about contributing to this amazing series, I fell immediately in love with the Bible verse she chose:
Psalm 16:11 from The Voice: “You direct me on the path that leads to a beautiful life. As I walk with you, the pleasures are never ending, and I know true joy and contentment.”
And then she went on to tell us that the Hebrew word for “never-ending” means enduring, strength, victory!!
I immediately began to think back about my journey over the last 10 years. Soon after my 30th birthday, I became very aware of a lack of joy in my life. With all of my heart I wanted to know and serve God, but when I looked around I didn’t really feel the presence of God in my life. Have you ever been in that place? You know God as your Lord and Savior, but He feels so very far away no matter what you do? And Psalm 16:11 states that “He directs me on the path that leads to a beautiful life.” Even though I believed with every ounce of my core the truth in that, I felt abandoned and alone. And most certainly my life did not seem beautiful. How could I feel like this? So much of what I had wanted in life I had (an amazing husband, two children, a house, security, friends and so forth).
But I was feeling so joyless.
“As I walk with you, the pleasures are never-ending…”
Hmmm, never-ending (enduring, strength, victory). Even though I didn’t have this verse in my life at that particular time, in my heart I knew something wasn’t right and I certainly had no victory and my strength was wavering. However, by the grace of God, there was this small voice I began to hear that said something like,
“Sara, this is not all I have for you. Surrender your life; pray for transformation; allow me to work in you and I will show you joy and contentment”.
Okay, I hear ya God. Now what? What do you want me to do? Should I go join a new Bible study, lead a new Bible study, become a better person, join a ministry, be a better mom, be a better wife? Maybe those things will please God and He will direct my path.
For months, I struggled with what I was DOING wrong…and then instead of using a still, small voice God had to get kind of loud and shout to me
“Be still, and know that I am God!”
And really, if I am being honest, I didn’t even hear the “and know that I am God part.” I just heard the Be Still! With much desperation for being rescued, I began to Be Still.
The last part of Psalm 16:11 says, “and I know true joy and contentment.”
At Be Still Be Free we did a podcast one week on Be Joyful. We discussed that one of the definitions of joy is “a happy state that results from knowing and serving God.” And that joy is in direct proportion to a believers walk with Jesus. I then realized something that changed my life forever; although I felt God directed my paths, I took over from there. I tried with all my best efforts to show God He could be proud of me and be pleased. Look at all the things I do, look at all the ways I am!…all without knowing it I had become judgmental and prideful.
And I wasn’t that way just with others, but with myself. You see, we often impart what we possess. (tweet that) I was so unhappy with me, that I was unhappy with everyone. I was so worn out by doing that my cup was empty of what mattered — like knowing God — and full of the lies of Satan.
BUT GOD, in all of His goodness, has shown me that He wants to be on the journey with me. That I don’t need to worry about what the rest of the world is doing…just how I am allowing God to walk with me, directing me in a beautiful life. (tweet that)
After what seemed like forever of God calling me into a time of solitude, He has lifted the lid and is starting to lead me down new paths. Some of the lessons He has revealed during this time are:
- “Be Still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). To know God means to be still first. We often think that by doing more things for God we will know Him better. But God literally tells us “to be weak in the knees”, to fall down before Him and allow Him to lead us.
- God does not need us to change the world. He chooses to change the world through us.
- The gospel is not about all the things we do right or do wrong. The gospel is the Good News of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. All that other “stuff” is religion. Once we accept Christ as our Savior, we need to allow Him to bring Psalm 16:11 to light.
- “The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is of great value in the eyes of the Lord” (I Peter 3:4). If unfading beauty is a gentle and quiet spirit, then I want that. Learning how to communicate with the world is just as important as what you are saying if not more. If God is going to use me, I need to learn how to be gentle and quiet.
- “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12).
- And lastly, God does not count how many things we are doing right or wrong. He is not interested in numbers or productivity. Rather, He is concerned with my willingness to grow in Him and be used by Him. He will take care of the rest…I just need to be careful not to take over. (A Mary spirit)
There are so many more things I want to shout from the mountaintop, but these are some of the most definitive lessons for me. God’s desire is for us all to live in joy and contentment. Growing pains are never fun, but the end result is so worth it. My prayers for God to change the way my eyes saw, to open my ears to His ways, to mold my heart to love like Him were answered. Now, it’s still a daily journey but Praise God that He is so full of love and mercy! Praise God that He never gives up on us…never leaving us or forsaking us! Praise Jesus for a Gospel story! And Praise Jesus for the freedom that comes in Being Still!
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Additional Resources: Looking for some tools to help? Check these out!
1. Lord Is It Warfare? Teach Me To Stand by Kay Arthur. Study and devotional that will equip you to recognize and understand the spiritual warfare that is inevitable for those who follow the Lord Jesus Christ.
2.The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free by Nancy DeMoss. Amazing book and study that offers the most effective weapon to counter and overcome Satan’s deceptions — God’s truth!
Watercolor hearts photo ©iStock.com/beastfromeast (modified by Elevate Ideas)
Oh Sara! How God chooses to change the world THROUGH us. Thank you for sharing honestly of the time in your life that God made it clear that “being still” was the only way to move forward. Such great wisdom that He gave you – and that you are imparting to us!
Sara… I can HEAR your voice as I read this! :) What a beautiful work the Lord is doing here. So blessed to know you sweet friend.