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It’s Wednesday morning so I do what I always do on Wednesday mornings — drop the kids off at school and drive to our restaurant. I arrive before he does, so I put on a little mascara because I look tired and also reapply lip gloss, because, hello? and go inside.
Our table is open (I wonder if they save it for us?) so I walk right to it and wave hello to the server who always has a smile on her face. She brings me coffee and sets his non-dairy creamer at his spot for when he arrives. I take a phone call because he isn’t there yet but when he walks in I say goodbye and quickly hang up.
Because this hour is precious.
It’s our date morning — the time we carve out to spend an hour together being Greg and Monica. We shed our roles — letting go of the Mommy and Daddy hats, the pastor and employee hats, the counselor and friend hats, the carpooler and coach hats. Just us being us — the couple, the friends, the lovers, the two that became one — who started this crazy ride over 10 years ago.
Sometimes we catch up on work stuff…sometimes kid stuff. Other times we share dreams and goals and visions, or laugh about hilarious movies we can’t wait to see (Will Ferrell, I’m talking to you). Almost always I end up in tears over something, whether it’s laughter or heartfelt emotions; for some reason our times together open my heart wide.
We tend to get so caught up in the doing of family — school, activities, errands, homework, house work, cooking and all the rest — that we do Husband and Wife and Mommy and Daddy really, really well.
But in doing Husband and Wife and Mommy and Daddy, it’s so easy to forget to BE Greg and Monica. It’s easy to forget we are still two BEcoming one, always and forever until death us do part.
Our breakfast dates pull us back to the core of what makes Husband and Wife and Mommy and Daddy work so well — individual people being who we truly are in that separate-yet-together way. His strengths making up for my weaknesses and my strengths making up for his.
A cord of three individual strands of different colors and materials that just are…and by being what they are, are woven together into something intricate and beautiful and deliberate and stronger together than separate.
It’s a precious hour of being myself with the one I’m forever connected to as he’s being himself.
It sustains us for the rest of the days until we meet again…he and me, being who we are.