I link up with Lisa-Jo on Fridays for a writing flash mob…throwing caution to the wind and gathering to share what a few minutes of free writing can buy.
Today’s topic: PRESENT
I’m very comfortable with this place — this place where I’m not seen, behind the computer and hiding among the flowers on the wall and blending into the background. This place where there is not a lot of responsibility and not a lot expected of me and this place that is not that vulnerable. Because it’s easy to be transparent and open when it’s black letters on a white screen and quite another when it requires me to move away from behind the screen.
I’m very comfortable with this place — this present place where it’s so easy to trust God when I don’t have to. I can boast in my trust in Him when there’s not a lot of strength I require from Him. When it doesn’t necessarily have to be His strength I’m able to stand up with, when it’s my own, really…and I haven’t noticed that until now.
My present is changing. That comfortable place is quickly becoming my past, not my present, and the uncomfortable place is quickly becoming my present, not my future. And that brings knocking to my knees, and quickening to my breath, and herds of butterflies to my stomach. I cannot survive in that place on my own. I’m not made to stand up in that place — that place where I can’t hide among the flowers on the wall. It’s a foreign place where I don’t speak the language or look like the natives and the currency is one that I don’t understand.
Yet that’s what happens when the cocooning time is over. The caterpillar is no longer the same and it requires supernatural strength to break through the cocoon and allow its new wings to expand and flap and get strong. And it has to trust that God has made those wings to fly, not fall, and trust that the Creator knew what He was doing when He changed its present so drastically and completely.
Yep, been out of my comfort zone now for some months and I can tell you God has never been more real or drawn me more closely to His side! He is the lover of my soul, my protector, provider, my best friend. Funny, how when you have nothing else to depend on He is the ONE! Of course He always was if we would just stop and let Him love us. Isn’t that exactly where He wants us? The world, people, demands on life seem to do all it can to pull us away but alas, God has a much greater plan if we will only trust, be still and know He is God and listen as He puts everything in place to take us where He wants us. It is a slow and sometimes difficult road but isn’t that exactly what the scripture, His word, tells us? The road is narrow and few will enter….we do not understand all of His ways and sometimes it is not what we think at all. We think we know in all of our own pride and arrogance, but we don’t. Letting go and letting God has never been so real and I think this is all He wants. Us to sit at His feet stripped of all, people, places and things, everything familiar, to see if we will really truly trust Him with everything…..He is first, second and third…He is everything and we are in constant process, whether in cocoon where we are comfortable or going where our faith is truly tested…from one sister to another, FLY…He is worth it and so are you!!!!
Monica…why did you have to take these tears from my eyes? In this public place I, too, was not expecting to be vulnerable within the its walls. Monica…oh sweet sister. You were so unaware that you were writing my soul alongside yours today.
I cannot make the tears stop silently falling amidst the steaming milk, espresso shots and conversations. And I don’t care anymore. Because you gave words to vibrating hearts. THANK YOU.
I wish, with all I have, in this moment – that I could hug you. Look you in the eye. And give you appreciation proper for how unbelievably gorgeous you are in this moment. How these words of courage sing freedom.
Oh Leigh – I don’t think my comment in reply to you ever posted. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your precious comment. Your words were such a blessing to me! Finding comfort and camaraderie in the journey makes it a million times easier. Love your sweet spirit, my friend. Blessings on you!!
Scary scary spot to be in- so far away from your comfort zone. It seems like you have laid a great foundation. Praying for you to be brave as you grow.
I’m saving this – you know – in my ‘save and read again and again and again’ folder. And yup, it’s called exactly that! Your bravery in entering this new place is inspiring so many others to boldly accept their “new” present place, too. God bless our Monica!
Wow … I could have written your first two paragraphs. :) So, now I’m curious … where is your passport taking you? God bless! Visiting from Papua New Guinea via FMF, Sharon
Stopping by as your neighbor on FMF… what a beautiful post. And one I can identify with, although my coming life changes aren’t nearly as dramatic as yours; I’m at least staying in one country! It is so easy when things are calm to say “God’s in control and I trust His plan,” but when the rubber meets the road and you’re sent off to a place you’ve never been, to be around people who aren’t anything like you… that’s when faith becomes real. That’s when we’ll realize He is truly present with us, every moment of every day. Even when we’re in the midst of culture shock, whether it be from moving to another country or moving from the Southeast to the West! God bless you in your new adventures!
I love this, bless you.