Week 3: Laughter (Maintain Your High Maintenance Marriage)


The running joke is that sarcasm is our love language.

The very first time I met Greg, he showed up with a couple of friends to help me move apartments. My two takeaways about him that day were, “wow, his eyes are really beautiful” and “dude, he’s funny.”

When I first met his family, they told me they were thrilled he finally met someone who could come back at his jokes and jabs so quickly.

One Saturday early in our dating relationship, we drove to Chattanooga for the day. Halfway there Greg started his rendition of the song version of “The Lord’s Prayer,” which sounds incredibly sacrilegious, but the tears streaming down my face were in breathless laughter, not offense.

When I knew things were getting serious between us and I considered he might even be The One, I made him sit down and watch my all-time favorite movie, Waiting for Guffman. He didn’t know it at the time, but if he didn’t like the movie, I was really going to have to reevaluate our relationship.

(I kid.)

(Or do I?)

At any rate, it’s safe to say that laughter has been a HUGE part of our marriage.

(And for the record, he laughed more at it the first time than I did.) (I always knew he was a keeper.)

“The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” – E.E. Cummings

Greg and I laugh at and with each other. Laughter has taken the sting out of many painful situations and circumstances, and has equalized many conversations. Most discussions, heartfelt outpourings and deep talk always ends with some kind of a joke to diffuse the heaviness. Not in a manner of minimizing the importance of what’s happening, but to get us to loosen up.

Because it’s so vital in marriage to not take yourselves so seriously. (tweet)

Take God seriously, yes. Take the sanctity of marriage seriously, yes. But honestly, a lot of us (or maybe, just me) need to do some chilling out about life and love and marriage. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten beyond high-strung about something and Greg will temper it all with a joke.

And vice-a versa. Likewise, I’m sure.

(10 points if you get the reference.)

And I’m absolutely, 100% confident laughter is important to God.

  • God told Abraham and Sarah to name their child laughter (Genesis 17:19)
  • David said that nights of crying our eyes out will give way to days of laughter (Psalm 30:5, The Message)
  • Psalm 91 says, “I’m whistling, laughing and jumping for joy; I’m singing your song, High God.”
  • David wanted to “run loose and free, celebrating God’s great work, every bone in my body laughing, singing ‘God, there’s no one like you.” (Psalm 35:9, The Message)

“I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows).” – Jesus

If Jesus came to give us life to enjoy and have in abundance, why don’t we think that applies to our marriages, too? When I enjoy a movie, I laugh. When I enjoy a book, I laugh. When I am thrilled to no end to finally be in bed at the end of the day, I laugh myself to sleep.

(I kid.)

(Or do I?)

And when I enjoy my hilarious husband, I laugh. No one on earth makes me laugh like he does. He brings me smiles and joy, every day.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s been that way since the beginning of time, and if it was the same for Adam and Eve, and maybe they even laughed years later about their biggest faux pas.

Like maybe Eve says, “Remember that time The Almighty asked you if you ate the apple? And you were all like, ‘Dude! It was her! That woman you gave me!’ Like you couldn’t have not eaten it! Dude, you’re hilarious.'”

And maybe every time Eve struggled to figure out what to make for dinner Adam said, “Why don’t we have Baked Apples? Or Apple Pie? Or Apple Fritters?Anything with apples would be awesome.”

And then maybe she flicked him with the kitchen towel and maybe he made a face like he’s a regular ol’ stand up comedian.


“Laughter is carbonated holiness.” – Anne Lamott

I think enjoying our spouses makes God laugh too. I think when we all get to heaven we’re going to be shocked at how much fun we have, and maybe we’ll be standing in line weekly for tickets to Jesus’ stand up show.

(He’s probably way into physical comedy.)

I think when we laugh with our spouse and have fun together and don’t take life and each other so seriously…I think when that happens God christens us all Isaacs.

“You have as much laughter as you have faith.” – Martin Luther

Ya gotta have faith. And a whole lotta laughin’.

Challenge: Take one night to watch a funny show with your spouse…phones, computers and iPads closed. Or while you’re out on a date, don’t allow any heavy conversation, or anything work-related; make it a “for fun” date only. Or talk about ways you can bring more laughter into your marriage. Pray that God would show you ways you and your spouse can lighten up and not take yourselves so seriously.

Additional resources you might find helpful:

Be blessed this week. And please be sure to check out other great posts in this collaborative series!



5 thoughts on “Week 3: Laughter (Maintain Your High Maintenance Marriage)

  1. I agree, the Adam and Eve bit was fantastical. It made me giggle and felt a little too familiar, to boot. ;) I love that you are including references for further study on each of these topics. It is so helpful and encouraging. A laugh a day keeps 10 less crunches away, right?!?!

  2. Oh boy. The Adam and Eve visual made me laugh out loud. You have challenged me this week. I aim to relax a bit, laugh more, and maybe even laugh at one of Scott’s awful jokes.

  3. Monica, I loved this it is so true laughter is wonderful and it can help when things are tuff. Ron and I have been together for 52 years and laughter has been good for that. Thank you for this message

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