(Sigh.) I’m so disappointed in my coffee and in myself right now. I mentioned awhile ago that I enjoy my ruts and routines, and one of them happens to be the very specific kind of creamer I buy: Coffee Mate Sugar-Free Vanilla (liquid, not powder). I went to a store the other day and they didn’t have Sugar-Free…just regular. And I, being too lazy, didn’t want to go to another store (and unload the purse and the two year-old and Elmo and a sippy cup). So I got the regular kind. And now I’m totally depressed that my coffee doesn’t taste the way I like it to. WHEN WILL I EVER LEARN?

It’s been a good, normal, routine-filled week and I’ve loved it. It even included a nap on Monday, because oh-for-the-love-of-all-that’s-holy I just could not handle the exhaustion. Blame it on PMS, or blame it on the rain, or the stars that shine at night. I. Needed. A. Nap. Although the PMS is probably the best reason and would also account for the absolutely insatiable cravings that popped up out of nowhere (thus explaining the ridiculosity that was my Cheat Day this week) (and further thus explaining the disgusting grumpiness and irritability I spewed everywhere).

Sorry. Delayed TMI alert.

Is there a way to expedite this menopause thing? ‘Cuz the Reproductive Factory is closed for business and I’d like to move past the each-month-gets-worse-as-I-get-older part of “womanhood.”

Sorry. Another delayed TMI alert.

I’m gearing up now for a visit from my Dad…he’s coming in tomorrow and we haven’t seen him since my brother’s amazing wedding in MAUI. Sadly, we’ll all be very white compared to the last time we saw each other. But the tans aren’t important. Jaana and Paxton are excited for PePaw to be here, tan or not, and I’m excited for all the trips to the coffee shop we’ll be making. Where my coffee will be tan. Or sort of blonde.

Cravings, grumpiness and irritability aside, it’s even been a good week, I have to say. Lots to be thankful for:

1. The Word of the Week is “No.” I’ve learned this new word the past few weeks. It’s short and simple — but since it’s only one syllable, I’ve often felt the need to elaborate. “No, because…” or “Well, I would but…” and the effectiveness of the simple “no” is lost. However, in the past couple of weeks, I’ve said no four times. FOUR TIMES! And not a passive, mamby-pamby no…but a strong and solid no. I haven’t been a jerk about it (please tell me I haven’t been a jerk about it), but had a realization the other day: no one can respect boundaries that don’t exist. And I can’t rely on other people to tell me what my boundaries are or should be. So I took a few plays out of the team playbook (read: The Bible) and have applied these to my daily life:

^“Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one” (Matthew 5:37). The evil one! Well now, I should definitely avoid that.

and

“Now about our brother Apollos: I strongly urged him to go to you with the brothers. He was quite unwilling to go now, but he will go when he has the opportunity” (1 Corinthians 16:12). Beth Moore brought this up in her updated Breaking Free study, and it has changed my life forever.

Now, this was Paul saying this — you know, Paul the Super Apostle. He evidently strongly urged this Apollos character to go with The Brothers somewhere, but evidently, ol’ Apollos was quite unwilling.

In my mind, ol’ Apollos sounds like he might have been tall, muscular and totally cut…the ancient Greek version of The Rock, perhaps. He probably could even do that one eyebrow thing, and could even have stepped on ol’ Paul had he been so inclined. Maybe Paul was being a little passive-agressive to add this one little sentence into the chapter. A little, “FYI, this young punk refuses to do what I say, and NO ONE REFUSES ME! DOES HE NOT KNOW WHO I AM? I AM SAUL-TURNED-PAUL! YOU DON’T SAY NO TO SOMEONE WHO HAD A DAMASCUS ROAD EXPERIENCE (LITERALLY!)”

Because, that’s a lot of unwilling to say no to Paul. And I’m betting ol’ Paul didn’t hear no a lot. And he was probably put off by it. But you know what I say? KUDOS, APOLLOS, KUDOS. You go join up with The Brothers later — when your schedule clears up, when you’re feeling better, when things at home are more stable. You keep those boundaries in place, and don’t let ol’ Paul the Super Apostle bully you into going anywhere you’re not ready to go.

(And might I add, I have no idea why I keep saying ol’.)

2. Sonic Caramel Milkshakes. One of my (many) Cheat Day treats. Smooth, creamy, divine. (And in case you’re wondering, Cheat Day also included Taco Bell, Easter candy, pizza and chocolate chip cookies.) (I’ll complain about why I’m not losing any weight on this plan at a later time.)

3. School Talent Show. Watch out, Hollywood, there’s a new girl in town and her name is Jaana. And she’s coming for you. Jaana and one of her friends participated in the school talent show this weekend, and they sang “Party in the USA.” I honestly wasn’t sure how or if this would go down. Jaana typically hates attention of any kind, but has surprised me a few times with enjoying performing on a big stage (productions or recitals). So Jaana and her buddy got up and totally sang their little hearts out. It was precious! I was so proud of her. She told me later it was so much fun and she wasn’t nervous at all.

Again, I’m not allowed to post any video of her so this snapshot will have to do. (Do people say “snapshot” anymore?) Is she not the cutest little thing??

4. Student Art Show. So there was a county-wide youth art show at Western Carolina University recently, and in Jaana’s school, a boy and girl from each grade were selected to have their art represented at the show. And guess what little girl artist was picked for Second Grade? My little Apollos! We went on Sunday for the Awards Ceremony, and while she didn’t win an award, her art was displayed with the others from all over Jackson County. She insists she was glad she didn’t win anything, because she didn’t want to get up in front of everyone to get the award. Which begs the question — how can she stand and sing in front of 300+ people at a talent show, but not want to simply walk up and accept an award at an art show??

I strongly urged her to get a picture of her in front of her art, and these were the best shots I could manage. She’s groaning and complaining each time, saying she’s embarrassed about getting her picture taken while people are walking by. One could say she was quite unwilling. Which again, begs the question — how can she stand and sing in front of 300+ people at a talent show, but not want to simply smile and say ‘cheese’??

She kept asking why I had to have a picture with her in it, and finally…extremely exasperated, I exclaimed, “Because some day when you’re a Mommy and your daughter is in an art show, you’ll want to show her a picture of you as a girl with your art. And I’ll be darned if you come complaining to me that I never made you take one because what did you know, you were only eight!!”

I’ve nothing but pure motives.

5. When Daddy Comes Home. No, Greg’s not in the military and been gone a year. And no, he wasn’t on a trip and gone for a week. He was just gone for a normal work day. But not a soul in our house could wait one more minute for his arrival home.

6. Surprising My Girl. So Paxton was at MMO one morning, and I decided I was going to just up and surprise Jaana at lunch at school. She used to ask all the time for me to come, and it’s too distracting for the classroom for me to go and bring Paxton. And thus she’s stopped asking. So I decided to just up and go, spur-of-the-moment one day. When I walked into class and she saw me, she came over and gave me the tightest hug ever, her smile was from ear to ear and her cheeks were red from smiling. (This from the girl who said I was “too huggy” at the art show.) It just thrilled me to see her so happy. And while there, I got a call from MMO that Paxton had not eaten lunch and then fell asleep in his high chair and that I should probably pick him up early. Which made all the kids die laughing. So there’s that.

7. Jesus Calling – the App. I love this devotional, and just found there’s an app for that. It was $9.99 (shhh, don’t tell Greg), but is the full devotional and allows you to share, copy, paste, bookmark, etc etc. I’ve added it to a folder on my phone with my You Version Bible and One Thousand Gifts app. I’ve called the folder “holy.” (Kumbaya, my Lord.)

8. One Dollar Sunglasses. I can admit fully that I wear cheap sunglasses. Because I either lose or break every single pair, it’s just not worthwhile to spend much on them. (And I’m still mourning the pair from the Banana Republic outlet that the waves in MAUI stole one afternoon.) I was at the Dollar Tree the other day, and saw this surprisingly cute pair for really just $1. And so I bought them. And now you know when I see you in car line that my shades was only a buck. True dat.

9. Focus on the Family App. I’ve had this on a Thanksday list before. But I just love this app, because I have always, always loved listening to the Focus on the Family daily broadcast. I am so encouraged and inspired and more trusting in the Lord after I listen to one. Back when I was single, I’d listen to it (on the actual radio) on my way home from work. Those broadcasts built me up and strengthened my foundation day after day after day. And even today, it stirs up all the same reactions as it did back then. Kind of how I have the same reactions now on laughing gas as I did when I was nine. Love it. (At the dentist, of course. It’s not like I’m hitting up the nitrous just for kicks and giggles at home.) (‘Cuz that’d be weird.)

10. Side Dishes. Two dinners this week with two side dishes with both. BAM!