I have absolutely no idea how it happened.
One day I’m waking up at 6:am to have quiet time by myself, coffee and Bible in hand, giddy about the alone time…and the next day I’m going to bed at MIDNIGHT (gasp!) and continue to do so for weeks at a time! What has happened to me? And I don’t like it! And all this punctuation leaves me feeling alert and hyper!
I am best friends with Routine. Actually, Routine, Structure and Consistency are my BFF’s. School started last week and even though I’m so full and busy, I am so happy because Routine has come back and is having sleep-overs! I’m hoping she’ll stay for a long-term visit. But Structure and Consistency have blown me off and are hanging out with the bad kids. They’ve been peer-pressured over to the dark side and I don’t know if I can get them back.
I used to be the girl who would beat Greg to bed and lights would be out by 10:30 at the latest. He would lovingly (or not) call after me, “Goodnight MeMaw!” and I’d chuckle and fall asleep laughing because I was so happy to be in my bed. Then 6:am would come on the alarm and I’d leap out of bed giddily (is that a word?) to get my coffee and quiet time.
Lately however, I have seen 10:30 come and wave goodbye to it saying “See ya, Party Pooper!” Then around 11:30 or 12 I’ll realize I really should go to bed. But then I’m afraid to. I guess “afraid” isn’t the right word…but when I sit and realize I should go to sleep, a feeling comes over me like, “But why? You won’t really fall asleep forever anyway.” It’s so bizarre. I’ve never not wanted to go to bed before.
Then 6:45 comes in the morning and leaps out at me like a lion. I hear Paxton on the monitor and realize I have to immediately jump out of bed in order to:
Change son’s diaper
Feed son bottle
Make daughter breakfast
Make daughter school lunch
Make self coffee (why is this fourth??)
Feed son breakfast
Change self’s clothes
Brush self’s teeth
Clean kitchen (I hate leaving the house with a dirty kitchen)
Take daughter to school
And I vow each and every morning that Gosh-darnit! I’m soooo going to bed by 10:30 tonight! And I’m using less exclamation points from now on!
But I don’t!
I’ve suddenly done a Topsy-Turvy on myself and I’m quite unsure how I feel about it.
It might have something to do with all the recent changes we’ve endured (and by recent I mean the past 10 months), or all that I have to do in the next 10 days, or Jaana’s first-grader sleepover on September 10, or other things related to the number 10 that I’m unaware of at this particular moment.
Or maybe it’s because I take my vitamins too late in the evening.
I guess I’m going to have to go trolling over to the dark side while I’m up late anyhoo to find Structure and Consistency. Because without them around, it’s a lot easier to let Procrastination stay much than he should.
(and yes, of course Procrastination is a he.)